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  • Writer's pictureAmelia Harshfield

introverts: get unblocked with life's tough situations

Updated: Apr 21, 2022

Life happens to everyone. Loved ones get sick, we lose our jobs, and the roof on our house suddenly starts leaking. We can't control what happens to us, or what life throws our way. One of the hardest things with this is not being able to foresee issues coming. So we have to deal with them as they hit us.

When life starts to build up around us, we can feel like we have no control over our situation or our environment. It's like we have no power. We can believe we lose the ability to have options or have a say in the situation. Life can get really dark when this happens because we can feel like we're at the receiving end of the world. We just have to take what life throws at us and we have no say. This is especially true if we are going through a period in our life.

It's important to remember times like these happen to everyone, and we're not the only ones going through a rough time. It's easy to feel like we are the only ones but that problem, but that is a feeling and not a fact. Others might not be in the same situation as us but others certainly have felt the same feelings we are feeling. Sadness, grief, loneliness, isolation, being stuck or cornered, scared, hopeless, or depressed. This spiral can lead anyone to be in a really dark place.

We all have introverted and extroverted parts of us. Introverts lead their life with an introverted part. That means introverts feel most comfortable in their inner worlds, which is their safe place. The outside world can be unpredictable to them. When life starts happening to them, introverts normally start feeling threatened by the outside world. Their natural response is usually to retreat to where they feel most comfortable: their inner world or their head. They may stop looking for information from the outside world and only use the information from their inner world. The bad part about that is the introverted parts only validate what we are experiencing. So the introvert will start living a subjective life, based on what they believe is going on, rather than checking to see if what they believe is a reality or is biased.

When life is going great, we can feel on top of the world. When things are rough everything can seem to be tough. When an introvert is in that mindset, they usually only notice threats. They are picking up more validation of why they are having a hard time. They will likely not see the good things which are happening in your life and only see the bad things.

This is one reason people sink into depression and why it can be so hard to get out of. They are in their own mind and trying to get out of a space that feels safe and right for them. However, if they are only existing where they feel safe, they can sink much further into an unhealthy state of being. They become much more isolated because they are spending so much time in their head. This downward spiral is called the Introverted Loop.

You can get yourself out of this spiral. You just have to be aware of what you're doing. You also need to be ok with stretching yourself a little bit. Baby steps can get you lots of progress if you continue to make them. But you have to realize everything outside of your mind is not a threat, and you do have good things in your life. If your money situation is scary, do you have your health or do you have trusted friends? You need to look for things in your life that are going right. If you don't look you probably won't see them if you are in this mindset. If that is too much, you can start looking, for one thing, a day you are grateful for. Even if it's as small as your ability to move around.

As you look for small things that are going well, you probably will start to see other good things. You'll start to build momentum. Writing them down or creating a gratitude journal every day might help if you like to write. Noticing both the good and bad things will start to balance out your life. Nothing is ever 100% bad, which parts of you might not want to believe. But they are there if you look for them.

Getting out of this mindset will take the time it takes. Being aware of the good things in your life can do a lot in a short amount of time. You can do this.

Photo by Ed van duijn on Unsplash

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